Good morning and Happy Fat Tuesday, lovely followers!
Happy Hour is going to come early today— brunch, ladies and gents?
I hope that everyone— EVERYONE— gets to eat some delicious pancakes today!
(I’m a firm believer that breakfast is the best meal and should be eaten any time, anywhere.)
This is my favorite recipe of all time— and the best part? The cottage cheese make them *kind of* good for you. Protein! Flavor! Texture! OM NOM NOM! Seriously: Fluffiest. Pancakes. Ever.
So enjoy these with a mimosa and bottoms up :)
Recipe under the cut:
This is the drink for you if you feel like a Viking or a pirate! Little Duck first discovered this drink in the happiest place on earth— Denmark!— and has been putting it back ever since. OM NOM NOM, ALWAYS REMEMBER TO PILLAGE FIRST, BURN LATER! And your booty shivers me timbers!
1 oz. dark rum
1 oz. Jamaican rum
1 oz. light rum
3 oz. juice (anything sweet and tangy will do— try orange, lemon, lime, cranberry, apple, or pineapple!)
(1 oz. simple syrup— optional)
Shake in a shaker with ice, pour into a tumbler or glass, and sprinkle a little nutmeg on top.
Craving a cigarette? Try one of these bad boys instead, sweetheart.
1.5 oz. gin (for the love of all that is holy, use a decent gin like Tanqueray or Bombay Saphire)
1/2 oz. sweet vermouth
1/2 oz. dry vermouth
1/2 oz. crème de menthe
1 dash of orange bitters
Stir with ice and pour into a tumblr or martini glass. Orange peel for fancy garnish.
This drink is complicated in the most delicious way possible. Drink this if you want to feel like you’re hanging out with the Downton Abbey crowd.
2 oz. gin
1 oz. lemon juice
1/2 oz. lime juice
1.5 tsp. vanilla extract (go with it)
1 egg white (makes it frothy!)
3 dashes of orange liqeuer (or orange rose water, if you’re super-classy)
1.5 oz. heavy cream
1 tbsp. sugar
3 oz. club soda or seltzer water
Lemon slice for garnish
Shake all ingredients except the lemon slice and club soda in a shaker for five minutes— you have to do this part, even if it feels like your arms are falling asleep! Strain into a tumbler, top with club soda and garnish with lemon. RELAX.
This is Effie Trinket’s signature drink!
Furthermore, this is the classic American cocktail. (Just ask Winston Churchill.)
If you want a vodka martini (a la James Bond), that’s fine— but it’s not a martini, it’s a VODKA martini. (Little Duck is a bit of a snob in this regard.)
Today, the girlification of the bartending industry has nearly ruined the martini. Anything that ends in -tini isn’t a martini, people! (Ohhh, now the WASP is coming out of Little Duck and the wop can’t stop it.)
So please, when you make or order a martini, for the love of all that is good and holy, do it properly. Do it by the book. What would Don Draper do? What would Effie Trinket do?
Look at your life. Look at your choices. A martini will always be the right one. Drink it like Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra, and hold your head high.
2 oz. good gin
1/4 oz. dry vermouth
Lemon twist or pimento olive (for garnish)
Stir gin and vermouth with ice, and then strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with lemon or olive.
(If someone orders their martini “dirty,” add a little bit of olive juice.)
(If someone orders their martini “dry,” add a bit less vermouth.)
(If you’re wondering, I drink my martinis dry with the olive on the side.)
1.5 oz. vodka (try the good stuff, kids— Russian Standard)
4 oz. orange juice
3/4 oz. Galliano (the liqueur, not the designer)
I like to drink this on those days when I really miss the 1970s and want to watch Deep Thoat. Oh, and you should Google/Wiki “The Watergate” for a little history lesson.
Celebrate the 40th anniversary of the finest reporting done by the Washington Post, ever.
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, TUMBLR. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH.
Somewhere in the Capitol, Little Duck is all tuckered out and has passed out in her bed from drinking two bottles of red wine last night after Happy Hour. (She’ll be fine.) She’s getting up for brunch at her parents eventually. She’ll even put clothes on. Her brother will drive her. There will be much yelling. And the peasants will rejoice.
Anywho, this is Little Duck’s drink of choice on these mornings: the Screwdriver. Baby dago means business with this bad boy.
Kids, Uncle Haymitch and Aunt Effie want to make sure that you are getting your vitamin C everyday. That’s why you should drink a Screwdriver at breakfast (or brunch, depending on when you drag your ass out of bed).
2 oz. vodka
5 oz. orange juice
Orange slice for garnish
BAM. VITAMIN C FOR THE DAY.
Love you, mean it!
Mmmm— the Gimlet— another one of Little Duck’s summer favorites! Cool, refreshing, and tangy— perfect for the humid summers of the Capitol! Also, it gets you really drunk, really fast (and I like to be a cheap date).
1/4 oz. gin (or to taste, really)
1.25 oz. Rose’s Lime Juice (it’s gotta be Rose’s, okay?)
Stir gin and Rose’s Lime Juice in a chilled glass; squeeze lime wedge into drink and drop the wedge on top. Perfection.
This is a Daiquiri— but not the kind of daiquiri you are used to ordering at chain restaurants and pool-side and at shitty island resorts. No sir— this is the Daiquiri meant to be drunk by Rita Hayworth herself.
It’s fresh— it’s on the rocks (never frozen— ugh!) and limey. You should worship this drink. THIS IS A CLASSY COCKTAIL.
2 oz. light rum
1 oz. lime juice
1/2 oz. simple syrup
Lime slice for garnish
Shake rum, syrup, and lime juice in a shaker with ice. Strain into a cocktail glass or tumbler, and garnish with lime.
This is a particular favorite of Little Duck. It is best drunk at the races in Virginia horse country on a lazy spring afternoon, wearing your finest Lilly Pulitzer. Guys in ties and girls in pearls, preferably. Or, when you’re watching Gone with the Wind or Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. It’s minty, cool, and bourbony— just what we all need in our lives.
14 sprigs of fresh mint leaves
1 tsp. simple syrup (1 cup of sugar to 1 cup of boiling water— let dissolve and cool)
4 oz. KENTUCKY bourbon (for Josh Hutcherson, please)
Mint sprigs for garnish
Muddle your mint leaves and simple syrup together with a wooden spoon in a glass (or whatever you have on hand, really). Fill with crushed ice and LOTS OF BOURBON (Southern hospitality— be generous). Mix/muddle. Enjoy your pretentiousness. It’s a simple, delicious Southern pleasure,
Did you know that once upon a time, vodka wasn’t popular in the United States? (I know, TEH HORRORZ!) Anyway, it became super-popular after WWII, and we brought home delicious vodka from our Russian so-called “allies.” If you’re ever wondering how the Russians stay so warm during the winter, it’s because of all the vodka. This will put hair on your chest.
(Little Duck can attest to this— when she lived in Russia, her babushka made her take a shot of chilled vodka every morning at breakfast with her oatmeal. True story. Explains a lot about Little Duck.)
2 oz. vodka
4 oz. ginger beer (or ginger ale)
1/2 oz. lime juice
Shake and pour into a glass (or copper mug, if you can finangle one) filled with ice. Garnish with lime wedge. Feel fancy.
This is just a fun, fruity, tropical drink. Good for those hot and humid evenings in the Capitol. It’ll make you think you’re somewhere else with someone else— anyone else.
2 oz. white (or light) rum
3/4 oz. Cointreau
3/4 oz. lime juice
1/4 oz. maraschino liqueur or liquid
(1/2 tsp. simple syrup— optional for the sweet tooths like Peeta)
Shake all ingredients in a shaker with ice, and pour into a chilled glass. Garnish with a lime wedge or slutty cherry.
So, this is Little Duck’s signature go-to party punch. She learned it from the rugby team. When you bring gin bucket to a party, the odds of things getting out of control (in your favor) increases exponentially. This is the greatest punch known to man. Use it wisely. It’s an eight-ball. EVERYONE WILL LOVE YOU IF YOU BRING GIN BUCKET.
1 handle of cheap gin (Burnett’s or Gordons, if poss)
2 liters of Sprite
Several packets of Country Time Lemonade Mix
1 can limeade concentrate
Lots of ice
Lemons and limes, halved
Basically, pour everything into a big bucket or cooler; mix until the lemonade mix has dissolved, then add the ice and squeeze the lemon and lime juice in, and put the lemons and limes in, too. Stir.
Serve with a turkey baster and squirt shots into your mouth and your party-goers mouths until the gin bucket is gone. This will take an hour at most. Don’t worry about the germs. Booze kills germs. Plus, everyone gets so wasted that you forget about the turkey baster, anyway.
HAPPY GIN BUCKET!
This is THE OFFICIAL DRINK OF DON DRAPER AND MAD MEN.
You had better be drinking these already. If not, you’re just playing catch up. It’s a super-sweet drink, but incredibly delicious and refreshing. You’ll feel like an advertising executive. Or Haymitch Abernathy. Or Finnick Odair.
1.5 oz. BOURBON (good Kentucky bourbon)
1 sugar cube
3 dashes Angostura bitters
1 orange slice
1 strip of lemon zest
1 maraschino cherry
Muddle the sugar cube, cherry, bitters, lemon zest, and orange slice in a chilled tumblr. Muddle until your wrist falls off. Bludgeon the mixture. Fill with ice and bourbon (hell, do it to taste.) Garnish with orange slice and maraschino cherry. Enjoy your brief escape from suburban hell.
Uncle Haymitch and Aunt Effie are SERIOUS about you getting your vitamins, kids. And yes— vodka is a vitamin. In reality, this drink is invigorating and indeed cleansing. (Also, a personal brunch fave of Little Duck.)
2 oz. vodka
5 oz. grapefruit juice
Errr… just pour the vodka and juice into a glass with ice. Garnish with a grapefruit slice, if you’re feeling super-healthy and want to make other people feel guilty.
(For a Salty Dog, just add kosher salt.)